Dear God.
I can't believe I'm admitting this, but...I have a crush.
Yes. I know it's stupid. I know feelings like this will go away. Just like that monthly PMS having me cry with no obvious reasons.
Or WITH reasons, except that those reasons feel stupid afterwards. The reasons are rational, but I choose to...let say, ignore it.
Sh*t. Stupid crush. I even told Naqi that he doesn't want me anymore when he's being pushy wanting to know when I am getting married.
Hey slowpoke, you're the one I like!
Sh*t. And Naqi laughed at me.
...Yeah, I know. Crush is stupid. I won't be mad at Naqi. I totally understand him.
And maybe he's not that slow. Maybe he intentionally trying to piss me off because he doesn't want me hoping on him.
Or maybe because he already has someone else.
But why didn't he say so?! Ugh. He told me no one wants him, because he's in the army and armies are rough.
Damn. I told him he got plenty of secret admirers, didn't I? Didn't I?!
Ugh! Stupid feelings.
...fine, I do like him. All I wanted is to know that he likes me back.
...then?
...Then...I don't know. I might get bored after that.
...And umm...I don't think I'm gonna marry any time sooner.
I...sort of playing around a bit...but not really...I still like him...
...but I'm still gamophobia.
...i'm 'faulty' I guess.