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November 29, 2014

Just...sit here.

"Hey Naqi."

"..."

"Yeah...I know. Dah lama aku tak datang sini kan?"

"..."

"Naqi."

"..."

"Kau dah tak nak jadi kawan aku ke?"

"..."

"Okay then."

"..."

******************************

Senang.

Senang aku nak lupakan orang.

I know I can do that.

But feelings...are hurt.

Not just yours, mine, too.

But I sort of ignore.

Or not know what to do with it.

...give up on me?

I totally get it, that I'm not friendly like others.

I get it.

So...it's okay.

It hurts.

I do want to be accepted.

But maybe that's too much to ask. (^_^;)

Therefore I'll sit here quietly.

Just...sit here.

November 26, 2014

Steins;Gate

I watched Steins;Gate. And yes, the premise is very promising. That's what hooked me up to watch it. I'll give it 8.5/10.

But lemme just rant on what Steins;Gate could've done better. Spoilers everywhere. Consider yourselves warned.

The first arc, where all of the D-Mails started being sent...those episodes were kinda slow, but the conflict will surely start at episode 11 or something. All those D-Mails were not without purpose for the story. So it's an okay. 

Then, Okabe was presented with Mayuri's death, and then he swore to save Mayuri no matter what. He repeatedly time-leaped, always watched Mayuri's deaths in those different world lines. His action made me believe that he REALLY cared for Mayuri that he couldn't accept her death. For me, if Mayuri was just a friend, I would stop time leaping after watching a few of her deaths and then tried to analyze the whole thing rationally. Then maybe I'll stop time leaping all together and come to accept Mayuri's death. He instead kept going time leaping until he sort of broken inside. Well, maybe his personality is different than mine, but that's okay. I get why he so desperately wanting to save Mayuri, or rather, I formed my own opinion in why he wanted to save Mayuri so much. Because he cared for her. But I've also read in a blog that said that he simply wanted to save Mayuri over and over because he couldn't accept his mistakes of changing world lines through D-Mails. But for now let's go with the opinion that he cared so much for Mayuri.

So he time leaped. Discussed about Mayuri's death with Kurisu each time. And Kurisu helped him each time, supporting him. Yes, I can get that by this time Okabe would develop feelings to Kurisu, but love...wasn't really on my mind. It was more like....care. Grateful...or something. More of like care between dear friends, loyal companions that would die for each other...something like that. If you say that it's love...I don't know...I feel like something's missing. Because Okabe's main mission is to save Mayuri, remember? Then why would he wasted his time kissing other girl? It...contradicts, if we go with my opinion that Okabe wanted to saved Mayuri because he really cared for her. Or maybe...the love relationship wasn't shown and explained quite well.

Besides, if Okabe's in love with Kurisu, why would he sacrificed her instead of Mayuri? I can't brain this. If you love someone, you couldn't live without her, right? That's why he so desperately trying to save Mayuri. He love Mayuri. But then he twisted logic by saying he love Kurisu and let her die anyway. Can somebody explain this for me please? Hmm. Well maybe he's being rational and just really wanted to return to the original world, clean from any time machine whatsoever. But why would he want that in the first place? Because he experienced a fearful situation lest he let them continue doing the experiments. Existence of time machine made his loved one died. So he sacrificed Moeka, Mr Braun (a useless death), Faris's and Ruka's dreams to return to the original world with no time machine. But what is his main objective, really? To return to Beta world line, or to save Mayuri no matter what? If the first, then his love towards Kurisu is acceptable. But if the latter, then why the heck that when he finally got to Beta world line, he's acting like nothing is going on with him and Mayuri? But he wanted to return to Beta world line in the first place because he doesn't want Mayuri to die, right? Argh I'm confused.

Furthermore...I am among the few who believe that the 22nd episode would be the better ending. Kurisu's death would've been meaningful and give more impact if left just like that. The continuation of the next episode where Okabe was given a chance to save Kurisu would be better if it's a spin off. It sort of made the whole pain, effort and tears in trying to save Mayuri in those episodes went to waste. It sort of threw the importance of Mayuri into...umm somewhere worse than the dumpster. Suddenly in those last two episodes, Kurisu became damsel in distress. In just TWO episodes. Compared to those ummm almost ten episodes where Okabe's mission is to save Mayuri from dying. That said, I don't really ship Okabe x Kurisu.

In addition, why does Kurisu needed to be saved again? Because if she's not, WW3 would happen? So this WW3 happened because of the making of time machine, right? Wouldn't it be enough just to burn that thesis report and let Kurisu die? Because if you let her live, then she can just make a new one, right? If she lived, the world will probably still be having a time machine. If she remained dead and that thesis report on time machine is burnt, then the probability of having a time machine is impossible, right?

Truth be told, I like Mayuri. I feel like she has a bit mystery, matureness and depth in her character, if given the opportunity to do so. Like Okabe and Kurisu said, maybe she's the only one who can see a clear view of the lab and the situation they are all in. Yes, maybe she's stupid, but I believe she can be a strong supporting character to Okabe with her 'genki'ness and optimism. It gives balance and hope to those dark times in the anime. If only Okabe gave her a chance and tell her what really happened. Yes, Kurisu is more useful with her brain, but Mayuri has her strength too. Maybe she'll even tell Okabe to save Kurisu instead of trying to save herself so hard. For me, Mayuri was the one who stayed by him eventhough he has no money, just a delusional mad scientist who has no friend...she stopped by the lab everytime and bought some things for him. Mayuri take cares for him. But he fell in love with another girl. Not that I said Kurisu didn't deserve to be loved by Okabe...but Okabe really should appreciate and give more attention to Mayuri. Lack of these makes me feel like he's saving Mayuri for a weak reason. I don't really dislike Kurisu...it just that I feel like her love relationship with Okabe is forced.

Other than that, I am totally liking the whole mystery this anime presented. However, when it started to focus more on relationship and a bit haremish where Ruka went for a date with him, Faris called him her prince, Moeka managed to mutter a thank-you to Okabe before she died...that majority of characters are female and all of them somehow like him (~_~;)...a small part of my heart hates it. I was actually expecting that this anime's gonna be full of mystery and thriller till the end...but whatever. Those scenes with all those female characters just silently scream "Harem!" to me.

Character development of Okabe was very well done. Kurisu was a good character too. I wish Okabe gave more appreciation to Mayuri, and went to a date with the male Ruka. Mayuri and Daru really deseve credits for being Okabe's first friends. Suzuha's character was just nice. But Mr Braun (how did he get Nae anyway) was lacking. Why should he be FB anyway? It almost seems like the world only comprises of the people around Okabe, no other big organizations involved other than a small group of  Moeka and Mr Braun. Okabe keeps reporting to no one through his phone, and a huge organization like SERN has only Mr Braun as its face? Come on...show some English men in suits please. Hee.

I love Steins;Gate, I really do. That's why I spent my midnight writing this long rant. Or else, I wouldn't even bother.