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Stress kerja.

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum.

Sihat?

Alhamdulillah.

Aku stress kerja.

Haha. Awal-awal post dah cakap benda tak best.

Ha'ah, stress.



Malam-malam balik kerja pun still buat kerja.

Hari-hari pergi kerja bagi 100% fokus, ingat balik rumah boleh rehat la.

Tak, sambung bukak laptop, kejar produk nak tunjuk dekat bos Amsterdam. Maklumlah, time zone lain.

Kau ingat otak aku tak penat ke? Penat dow.

Kau ingat 100% fokus yang kau dah bagi kat tempat kerja tu dah cukup ke? Tak cukup dow.

Apa lagi yang dia nak dari aku ni?

Penat.

Tak puas, tak cukup rasanya masa rehat yang ada lepas balik kerja.

Lagi-lagi untuk orang yang kerja bukan dalam bidang yang dia suka.

Balik kerja, mestilah nak buat hobi yang dia suka. Tapi, kau balik kerja, ada berapa jam je lagi tinggal sebelum kau masuk tido?

Ada lah...dalam 3 jam.

Dude, aku balik kerja pukul 7, 7.30pm. Sampai rumah dalam pukul 8, solat semua bagai, pukul 9 baru boleh rest atau start hobi.

Itu pun kalau tak bawak kerja balik rumah.

Nak makan lagi. K…

The Who

My photo
ISTP girl. Human. Asian. Casual gamer. Can't live without food.
Recent posts

MONEY

Bismillah.

God, look at that.

Look at that girl with her two sisters. They look happy. She brought them around, showed them the city.

God, look at them.

Look at those people playing skateboards, fist-bumping one another. They look cool. They got the freedom to be outside even after midnight, no worries.

God, look at her.

Look at her when she went back home from work, exhausted and stressed out. We knew. But now she asked me to do same thing that made her unhappy.

God, look at me.

Look at how the boss is praising me, encouraging me for my work. But my doubts grow day by day. I am not happy, even confused.

God, look at me.

Look at how I envy other people's lives, being ungrateful for what I have. Yet, I am paralyzed, unable to make the necessary changes, if any is needed.

God, look at me.

Look at how stupidly I am trying to make myself happy, hanging out with friends, playing games, eating. But this is not living. It's empty. It's fake.

God, why am I wasting my 40+ hours a w…

Who am I?

Fighting for a battle.
A battle, against my own self.
Who would've thought. That I couldn't accept my past.
What is it? What about it that I want to stay away from it?
Why, oh my past self, what did you do?
You know...I did nothing.
That's the problem.
I can't accept myself. For not being someone. 
For being lost right now.
Because now, I've lost who I was before.
People said to emerge from a battle with victory, you need to lose everything first.
Well, now you're happy huh?
That I'm no longer my previous self. 
That now, I'm no one.
Who am I?
Trying so hard to make a dent in this world.
It's you, against the whole world.
It's you. Alone.
With God.

The gamer in me.

The gamer in me persuaded me to write this post.

Games I've played (or at least tried playing*, or currently playing#):
On PC: Prince of Persia 2008 The Sims 2 Mass Effect 2
Mass Effect 3 Crisis 3 osu! O2Jam Darksiders 1 Devil's May Cry 3 Devil's May Cry 4 Halo 1
Dishonored Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood Assassin's Creed: Revelation Assassin's Creed 3 Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag
Grim Fandago *
Dragon Age 1 # Dragon Age 2 Samurai Warriors 2 Warriors Orochi Tomb Raider 2013 Skyrim 5 Need for Speed: Most Wanted
Console games (played using WinDS emulator):
PSP: Persona 3 Portable The Legend of Heroes: Trails in The Sky Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep Ys Seven Hakuoki Star Ocean: First Departure Star Ocean: Second Evolution The Third Birthday Hatsune Miku: Project Diva * Jeanne D'Arc
NDS: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulation Ace Attorney Investigation Miles Edgeworth Apollo Justice Ace Attorney Lost in Blue 1,2,3 Profe…

How should I live?

Bismillah.

I need some self reflection.
First, hey, finally.
He's married. 
Good. 
Now to wait for everyone else to do the same.
And for them to forget me.
Uhh somehow I just wanna disappear. Just to avoid expectation.
Second, heh. I'm still here.
Doing the same thing that I said I want to quit every other day. 
The same job. After one year plus.
And why am I still here.
Seems like I'm dreading whatever tasks they want me to do.
Then what do you like to do?
Hell, don't ask me that question, like  I said before (and LOTS of time before), I DON'T KNOW!
Can't you just leave me alone and see what kind of things I would made, what kind of human I would be?
Huh. Self reflection. 
What would I be when I'm 30? 
That is, if I even reach 30.
What do I have? Nothing.
Look at that. You said that, you ungrateful being.
You have a family, a roof above your head, food, money, things...
But why do I feel I own nothing?
But of course I own nothing. All of these, in this wor…