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February 20, 2012

That deep sea.


Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum.


“I’m afraid. But then so what?”

“So you are afraid.”

“…”

“I hate it.”

“Of course. You hate everything.”

“Yeah, and I hate that fact.”

“…”

“Being emotional is…”




“Freaky?”

“Well…”

“For me, emotion is like a deep sea. The deeper we swim in it, the darker it got. And you won’t be able to see what would happen around you.”

“And that’s why you are afraid to venture deeper.”

“Of course. Who wouldn’t?”

“Her.”

She smiled spontaneously.

“She’s different.”

“You’re different, too.”

“Of course.”

“…”

“That’s why I’m afraid.”

“…”

“…”

“You know, you keep telling me that you’re afraid, you’re afraid, but then you do nothing to change it.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to change. And I hate being forced to change.”

“Even though other people are getting hurt because you didn’t want to change?”

“…”

“…”

“She shouldn’t feel hurt. She should understand.”

“You also shouldn’t feel afraid. You should understand her.”

“…”

“…”

“No! I don’t want to venture into that deep sea!”

“Be brave, Ziq…”

“No!”

“You should…”

“NO!”

“…”

“I said no, no, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!”

February 17, 2012

I'm boring

Bismillah.

Assalamualaikum.

Two by the beach


"So..."

"Kenapa kan, kita jadi makin serius?"

"...?"

"Makin lama, rasa boring baca blog."

"Mmmhmm."

"Huh."

"Well, people have their objectives when they write on blogs. That's why they're being serious."

"...Yeah."

He could clearly see the bored look on her face.

"People become more serious when they grow up because they start to have their own objectives, right?"

"Mmmhmm."

"...and so, that is why adults are boring."

He smiled, amused at that.

"Hmm, I can't deny that."

...

...

...

"And I am an adult."

...

...

...

"...and you hate that."

...

Not surprisingly, she concurred.

"Heh. People grow up, Naqi."

Yeah. And no one can stop that. He let that thought passed without being hatched. She then lowered her head, resting her chin on her two hugged knees.

"Why?"

That seemed to draw her attention.

"Why would you hate being boring?"

"...Because then I would be bored of myself?"

He could sense a little bit of uncertainty there.

We ARE bored of ourselves. Because we have been living with ourselves since we were born!

"...That, can't be avoided."

...

"But at least, I'm not bored with you." He hoped to cheer her up.

...

"Who cares about your feelings?"

...

"...No one, right?"

...

...

Not even you, I guess.

She then lied down, facing the opposite, not wanting to see his face.

He was not angered by this. Instead, he understood. Whenever she hurt him, she actually was hurt herself.

So he lied down too, watching the ocean as the time passed by.

February 10, 2012

Dilema

Assalamualaikum.

Apa khabar semua? Moga sihat sentiasa.

 

Saya sebenarnya tak tahu nak tulis apa ni. Yelah, untuk memberi korang semua baca, saya mestilah mencari bahan tulisan yang berkualiti dan bermutu tinggi. Namun saya rasakan tak ada satu pun yang saya tulis tu berkualiti tinggi. Almaklumlah,saya bukan penulis buku motivasi.

Oh well, jika saya menulis bukan untuk anda semua, tetapi untuk diri saya sendiri, maka tidak ada gunanyalah saya menulis di blog. Lebih baik saya tutup blog ini lalu menulis untuk diri saya di dalam diari sahaja. Blog kan untuk tontonan umum?

Nak bagi nasihat agama, saya mintak maaf. Saya tidak pandai. Ramai lagi, dan lebih ramai lagi yang jauh lebih pandai dari saya. Saya cuma boleh kongsi ayat sahaja.

25:47

“And it is He who has made the night for you as clothing and sleep [a means for] rest and has made the day a resurrection.” (Al-Furqan, 25:47)

Dah malam, tido ea.