If everyone likes you and finds you reliable, you'd think that's a good thing, right?
...
What if, as a consequence, everyone goes to you whenever they need help, until you feel torn apart and exhausted from having to give attention to all of them?
...I think I'm an ambivert. I would be nice to strangers on a good day, until that stranger no longer feel awkward with me. But at the same time, my energy drains every time I talk and smile.
How do I fix this?
How do I take a break, when everyone's depending on me?
Why are you so scared to take a break? Because you're scared you will burden our colleagues for having to take over your job?
But if you send your resignation letter now, you'll still stay until project completion. Should be no problem there, right?
Or is it because you are scared you'll be alone once you quit work? That all those people that you've help, would no longer have opportunity to reciprocate? That you wouldn't have your return of investment?
Why are you expecting something back?
No, I'm not.
I'm scared of being alone.
That mean's I'm putting work as my main identity.
I'm depending on work to give me life meaning.
That...I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Meaning, you are actually depending on something. You're not fully independent.
You gotta take back your identity.
Your freedom.
You are not your work.
You can survive any other places.
You have always been flexible. Just see how you are nice to everyone, without prejudice.
You can survive.
It's okay if you end up being a cleaner.
As long as you stay happy with yourself.
It's okay if you lose all those people from work who like to hang around with you.
That means they only hang around you because they get something from you.
Once you stop giving it to them, they stop being nice to you. 🤷
You gotta cut your losses.
Please...be nice to your own self.
What if you see your best friend suffering like you right now? What kind of advice would you give her?
I would say... take a break.
Stop thinking if your break would cause trouble to the project or the people.
You need it.
You yourself might break if you don't take this break.
You are breaking.
That's why you're reaching out like this.
If you can take it, you'd never raise this issue.
It is an issue, that's why it's appearing.
Like an illness or a disease. If you're healthy, nothing is an issue. But once you're sick, symptoms pop up. And when symptoms pop up, that's when you need to take medicine.
Even if the medicine is bitter.
Even if...quitting your job is bitter.
It's almost like breaking up from a relationship.
Admittedly, I like what I'm doing.
I'm involved with building SQL logic.
And I like the colleagues. They are nice people.
Bosses as well, they are all good people.
Yes, it's like breaking up.
You're sad that you have to end this.
Imagine those scenes in romance movies saying, "I love you, but we can't continue like this," while crying.
Yes, it feels like that.
Why can't we continue, you asked?
It's because I feel like I'm giving too much.
You might say you can change.
But for now, I just need a break.
To re-evaluate my life back.
I'm sorry.
But I need it.
I need it.
Dear God...
Hah...
Please...help me.
It will be a tearful breakup.
I will need to recognize and acknowledge that.
It's okay.
It does hurt.
You will cry.
But it's okay.
It will be okay.
At least you'll only cry once during the breakup.
Instead of crying yourself to sleep every night and in the morning before work.
It's okay.
It shows how passionate you are working there.
It shows how invested you are.
Which is not a bad thing.
It's okay, cry. It is a sad breakup.
It is sad.
Your heart will hurt, during the breakup process.
But only that time.
Your heart will stop hurting from the daily work itself.