Childish

Bismillah.

As a human, we sometimes get jealous when we see other people have things that we don't have. That's natural. That's common.

So?

So I am jealous. Hmm, well maybe not. But maybe it has turned so bad that what I feel is no longer jealousy, but disgust.

Yes, disgust. That disgust when that other person gain the things that you can't get. Then I would continue blaming the reality is harsh and all those cliche things spoken in a soap opera.

Huh. I know, I know it's bad. But...

I'm not willing to change it. I...shall keep it hidden. Deep inside.

Why? Because I know it's bad. I know people won't agree with it. So I'd just keep it.

People would say, why won't you solve it through discussion?

...

...Lemme just keep this, okay? I'm sure everyone has some ugly things they're keeping inside.

And I should study more on how to be more grateful.

***

It seems like I'm getting sentimental, worse than them.

They're relaxed, and cool with the idea that I'm leaving.

And me? Overly excited and eager to take pictures with them.

What the heck.

...

Look, it's been fun, okay, and uh...

Hmmm, maybe I'd been tricked into believing that they like me.

...Maybe I should act natural and be cool about it too. Heh, I'm just excited with my first experience teaching in secondary school.

It's been interesting watching kids do fun things. Heck, it's even more fun to be doing those things myself. It keep us feeling young and creative, isn't it? It's not wrong to be a bit childish, isn't it?

The right to be validated.