So I am choosy.
Always have been, just started noticing it like 10 years ago, when I was trying to pick a backpack to buy. I can still remember my coursemates growing bored, waiting for me to choose what I wanted already. The problem was, I was trying to decide between 2 bags, each had features the other didn't have.
In the end, I didn't even buy them.
This trait of mine is even more obvious now that I'm older.
The story was, just today, I was pleasantly surprised to have found a pair of shoes that felt like mine the moment I saw it.
I guess that's what people call as love at first sight?
At first I saw it and thought, nice design. Nice colors. Then I tested its flexibility and it passed. Felt the material. Felt nice. The RM50 pricetag, too, was what I wouldn't mind paying. So far everything was perfect.
Just so you know, this occasion is very rare. I am not one of those people who can straightaway buy a nice blouse or scarf or shoes whenever they see one.
Now, moment of truth... to ask the retail assistant if my size was available. Usually shoes on sale like this will only have sizes that are either too small or too big.
Turned out it was available. So she went and brought it to me, I tried it out in front of a mirror, and it felt like... it was mine already. Like I would wear it and use it right there and then. Everything clicks in place. Sure, there are one or two points of discomfort, but nothing untreatable if worn often. Sure, the design means it'll be hard to put on or take off quickly, but hey, it's the kind of design that I like so I'm willing to live with that.
Well, granted that I've own a similar pair of sneakers a couple of decades back, it was one of my first shoes that I really like and stayed with me for quite a long time. I guess that's how I can recognize what I like, what I wanted in an instant, because I've had good experience in owning one similar to it.
On the other hand, there's the purse. Actually my purpose of going out was to buy a purse, because my old one was so bad I'd be embarrassed everytime I took it out to pay for something. So I was desperate to have it replaced.
I've been going almost everywhere, searching high and low for the perfect purse/wallet that would fulfill my very-specific-list of criterion. Yes, I even search at men's section, but their wallet designs are pretty much the same across the brands it's boring 🙄 and men's wallet only have zipper coin slots that is too small. See how specific I am?
The right height, the right thickness, the right material, the right color, the right cost, the right features... I wouldn't even tolerate some extra space or additional slots, because I wanted something simple, practical and minimalist. My old one was of the perfect size, but I can't go buy the same thing anymore because the shop closed down.
In the end, I settled for something that doesn't really 'clicks', but still fulfill some of my needs. I settled for something... less. The coin slot is what I wanted, it's a zipper, though it could be better. The size... eh, slightly bigger, not as tall as I wanted but at least it can still fit my pocket. Barely able to fit all my cards though, hopefully it won't break too soon each time I take out or push those cards back in. The material too is not of my liking, would like for something more sturdy and could withstand scratches. Oh well. But the price was okay, it was around RM50 as well.
You might ask why I didn't just buy online. I wouldn't like that, because I want to feel the material in my hand. I want to see it with my eyes, and compare it physically with my old purse. I want to see how thick it is, and whether it's bulging or not. I don't trust the measurements provided by those online
platforms, even 1cm larger could mean it wouldn't fit in my pocket.
Or maybe I'm too paranoid or exaggerating.
I guess this reflects my online dating attempts. I am really bad at texting, and it doesn't help that those men on there don't even bother writing more info about themselves on their profile. You see, over the internet I can't have a feel of what a person really like. I don't see their body language, I can't hear their tones when speaking, I can't gauge their facial expressions.
Huh. I guess that's why I hate texting. Because it lacks all these 'sparkles' and 'decorations' that make it interesting. For me, texting is best only for exchanging information. I thought it is well known that more than half of our whole communication is through body language?
So that's why I probably should take a break from OLD (OnLine Dating). It doesn't suit me. If I want to find a partner, maybe I need to go around finding them like I tried searching for a new wallet. Huh, and in the end, the wallet I got was only decent, but instead I found myself a perfect pair of sneakers.
Then maybe I should go around without the intention to date, because then I won't feel the urge to settle for less, like what happened with my purse hunt.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯