Losing hope

Bismillah.

Hope.

Harapan.

Semakin dewasa usia ni, semakin kurang naif.

Budak-budak, naif. Dia ingat semua dekat dunia ni benda baik-baik saja. Dia ingat kehendak dia semua akan dipenuhi.

Sekarang, bila kau sudah dewasa, kau akan hilang kenaifan tu.

Naivety.

Dan disamping naif, kau jugak akan hilang benda ni.

Benda yang dipanggil 'harapan'.

Hope.

You lose hope.

Semakin panjang usia, semakin banyak kesedihan, kemusnahan yang kau akan saksikan, yang kau akan alami sendiri.

And all these experiences will erode you of all your naivety and hopes.

You'll become more...realistic.

And for someone who's already pessimistic, the effect is doubled.

Losing hope.

Dua perkataan tu je dah depressing dengar.

If you lose hope, there's no moving forward.

Even if there is a way, but you are not moving towards it.

Why? Because you don't think there's anything on the other side.

You don't bother.

You stop bothering. You stop caring.

You...give up.

...

It's dangerous.

Dangerous. I know.

You lose hope. There's nothing that you look forward to in life. You stop caring about living. You start thinking about dying.

Destructive thoughts.

You try to be rational and say, "This feeling shall pass."

So you don't bother with the feeling even.

But that doesn't solve the original problem.

The problem of not having something to look forward to in life.

...In the end, what happens is that you bury your own feelings, ignoring your heart, and carry on dragging your feet through each day.

Becoming numb.

What's the use of crying? At the end of it you'll just feel empty.

...

...You know, the final, last straw that keeps you from dying

that thin thread you're loosely hanging on to

is this:

God.

Yes, the thread is there. The only thread that you're hanging on to.

It's there.

Don't let go.

It's there. Because God is there.

He's there.

So, just hold on to it.

It hurts, I know.

But don't let go.