Looking forward to...

Bismillah.

"Imagine...", they said.

...Huh, my imagination is really running on empty nowadays.

I'm a realistic person, remember? Am also a pessimist, where if you combine those two, it would be enough to drive you towards depression, i.e.: what's there to hope for in life?

...Anticipating something in the future.

I still remember what my ex-boss said when I told him I'm taking leave for a holiday in Japan. He said, "Good, you have something to look forward to."

When he said that, I don't know, something sparks in me. It's one of those moments where I feel like I want to retaliate, but his point actually makes sense so I was rendered speechless. When he said that it feels like...like we need to have something to anticipate in life. If not, your life would be boring. If not, your life would be...hopeless.

What's there to be happy about living?

...

Petty things.

"I look forward to going on a holiday!" Says someone in a chirpy tone.

"I look forward to having our baby born."

"I look forward to getting enough money so that I can buy a house."

...

Sure, I got my own things that I want in the future...but future is never guaranteed right?

So what's your right to believe that whatever you're looking forward to will even occur?

...Hope?

Heh.

***

...I'm so sorry for that sad realization, I don't mean to give you depression.

Here's something for you, if you want to read.