Butterflies tak pernah tengok cermin.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Have you heard one saying that goes like this: A butterfly is beautiful, but it doesn’t realize it.

Sebab dia tak penah tengok cermin. Haha senang je jawapannye.

Hahaha tak, tak, bukan itu maksud aku. OK OK back to the topic.

The saying above usually goes to a woman. A woman is beautiful, but she doesn’t realize it.

Aku dapat kata-kata (yang lebih kurang macam tu) daripada seorang kawan. Dia bagi kat aku, tengah aku down.

***

Korang mesti pernah rasa jeles kan? Haha kompem kompem la.

Jeles pada adik-beradik, jeles pada sedara-mara, jeles pada mak bapak (boleh ke?), jeles pada artis/orang kaya, jeles pada strangers pun ada , and lastly, jeles pada kawan.

Oh yeah I’m jealous with my friend. I’m jealous with my closest friend.

Everytime I’m with her, I’ll always notice kelebihan dia. And you know how long aku asyik berkepit dengan dia je. Haha. Nama pun dah closest friend.

Nope, nope. I’m not talking about jealousy from the negative aspects, I’m talking about the positive one. The one that sometimes causes my self-esteem to go down a bit.

Yep, she’s beautiful, elegant, funny, witty, happy-go-lucky, manja, cute, pandai bergaya, bijak, pandai bersosial, sopan, keperempuanan…aww you know, ciri-ciri seorang wanita Melayu terakhir.

And me?

Ganas, macam laki, suka pakai kaler hitam, tak pandai bergaya, loud, tak comel, over, pakai spek, tak pandai bercakap, penakut bla, bla, bla…………………………

Argh. There you go again. Tak bersyukur dengan apa yang ada.

Thank God, I really thank God, He gave me good grades. But does that means I’m clever?

Aku sendiri tak tau. Korang mungkin nampak aku bijak, but am I really that clever? Bolehkah aku menyelesaikan sesuatu masalah yang datang suddenly and desperately needs my cleverness? Would I be able to do that?

Argh, you’re kidding me.

You know, butterflies tak sedar yang dia cantik. Obviously sebab dia tak pernah tengok cermin. Tapi aku? Yup, hampir setiap pagi aku tengok cermin to see my face, other than being vigilant to see whoever walks into our room each time aku dengar bunyi pintu dikuak.

But what do I see in the mirror? Yup, I see myself, my face. I have a nice pair of eyes, alhamdulillah walaupun rabun I still can see this beautiful world that Allah creates. I see my nose, muncung sikit bertulang, aku warisi dari mak aku. Mulut, aku ada mulut. Mulut aku pun comel. Pipi, toksah cerita la. Tembam sikit, dah cuba nak kuruskan tapi tak boleh. Alhamdulillah cukup semua. Allah itu cantik dan Dia sukakan kecantikan.

I know, I am beautiful. You guys, whoever reading my post now, are also beautiful. We are all beautiful. I believe that.

But then, I go to class, I see Falaha, and bam! my pride of my ‘beauty’ comes down to earth.

Haha alhamdulillah. Itu mengingatkan aku supaya jangan bajek/perasan terlebih.

Well, everytime Falaha cakap, aku tenung dia. Mata dia bersinar, mulut dia comel, senyuman dia ceria. Ekspresi muka dia, jangan cakap la, Pelakon pun kalah.

Ahh…aku kalah. Aku jatuh cinta dengan dia. (Whoops. Jangan salah tafsir kat sini ea)

Yang paling obvious sekali ialah bila nak kena bercakap dengan orang. I am quite scared actually. Yeah, I’m an introverted person, and my interpersonal skills are quite bad.

Argh teruknya aku, kan?

But then Falaha manages to do it like magic! It always shocks me whenever she talks to people casually, without fear or shame. And what did I do at times like that? Hide behind her.

Ceyt, penakut. I once even felt scared to show her to my mother, afraid that my mother would favour her compared to me.

She is charming! Orang kalau first time jumpa dia mesti akan ingat dia. She manages to leave good impression of herself on people, even strangers. Lelaki, tak payah cakap. Falaha is the type of woman that all men want. No objection.

Cinderella yang charming

Haha boleh tak somehow I wanna feel jealous on this?

Yup, she told me that was somehow like a curse. I agree a bit on that. Freaky la kena kejar laki ni. Dalam sem ni dah lebih dua waiter kat restaurant dah yang mintak nombor dia.

Aku?

Oops jangan tanya. Aku, is the type of woman that men find just to be friends, and no more than friends. Or maybe even less than friends. Or maybe even enemies.

Solehah?

Yup. As always, she’s better than me.

Jadi, aku di mana?

Aku kat sini, hunching depan laptop, talking to an online diary which has not more than 10 people to actually read what I write. Maybe even less than 10.

So anti-social.

***

Yet I exist. And I stand to believe that I exist for a reason.

***

To Falaha, if you ever came to read this (harap-harap la tak sebab aku takut ko marah aku nanti!huhu), know that you are always special, beautiful, nice, elegant…and I know you have a high level of confidence so I know that you are one butterfly yang pernah tengok cermin. Hehe.

Just, thank you for complementing my weaknesses, okay? Love you. (and I always feel like I wanna kiss you on the cheek!XD )