Kau tak tau.

Allah.

Aku rasa kalau aku mula menulis pasal benda ni, aku akan menangis.

Haha.

Sabtu, 12 Sept, went shopping at Alamanda alone, searching for new blouse, pants and jacket for my new job. Met Syafiq, and he asked, "Sorang je? Kenapa tak ajak Ama ke, Falaha ke?" ...What. Should I trouble them to come far away to Putrajaya? You're kidding me, right? I've learned that your friends wouldn't always be available for you all the time. They are another human being, not the extension of yourself. They have their own circle of family and friends that you don't know about. You're not the only person in their life. Besides, what's wrong with going out alone?

Got home after shopping, noticed there were lots of defects in the clothes I just bought. What the heck. Well, padanlah dengan harga dia yang murah.

Ahad, 13 Sept, jerebu makin teruk. Was thinking maybe I should go back to Alamanda to exchange the defective products I just bought, but...meh. I shouldn't go out in a weather like this. Was thinking maybe I should start transfering my stuff to Bangsar, but...meh again.

Isnin, 14 Sept. Aku mula kerja baru kat syarikat swasta yang headquartersnya di UK. Colleagues kebanyakan non muslim, sorang orang Australia, 1 cina, 2 india, 1 melayu. Note that I said 'melayu', and not muslim. But Allah knows better.

Lepas tu, aku dan sorang lagi muslimah UM jadi newcomers, dan sorang lagi chinese guy, studied in US. And masa tu ada pulak 3 orang Amsterdam yang datang Malaysia untuk melawat KL punya branch. So imagine how the non muslims become the majority in my new workplace.

The first day...damn, full of briefing, lots of info. We only stopped for lunch and pray. Then, on to more talks. Aku bukannya paham sangat apa yang diorang cakap tu. Sorang banyak mumbles, sorang cakap laju, sorang lagi macam nak taknak buka mulut je. Huhu. After the day was over, they brought us to dine at Central Market, along with those 3 Amsterdam guys until 9.30. Luckily we didn't have to pay for our food. What the hell. The first day of work was already full to the brim.

Selasa, 15 Sept, second day of work. We had to come to office at 8 am, as we would be going for a port visit at Port Klang. I was excited for the visit, but the awkwardness from being a newcomer was there. The visit was very interactive, I was grateful that I could stay away from more briefings, but I wasn't able to enjoy it to the fullest. We got back to the office at 3pm, I went to pray with the UM girl, then we had one more session of briefing before we got back home after 5. I was so stressed, thinking on the expectation being put on me to really know my work scope in just a few weeks, and also thinking about how the heck am I going to transfer my things from Putrajaya to Bangsar. Cried a lot, I did that night.

Rabu, 16 Sept. Hari Malaysia. Thank God, I need this holiday. But I was thinking maybe I should start packing my stuff to move into my new rented room in Bangsar. I messaged the old renter, she didn't replied until it got late. But I decided to just go with it, so after Maghrib prayer, I waited for the bus to come. Met an uncle whom I thought was a Bangla  (because there's a lot of them from where I rented), but instead he's just a mami from Penang, coming to Putrajaya for a meeting with all rice association from other states. He chatted a lot, we got onto the same bus to Putrajaya Sentral and there, he gave me his name card and some jeruk for free.

At 9.30pm I got onto ERL Transit to KL Sentral, and then to LRT Universiti. It was already 10 by then. Sent my luggage up into my new room, got down again to get the keys from the head of the house, waited for her for 20 minutes after her calls didn't reach her, took the keys from her after I found her at some cafe (curses, she innocently said there's no network coverage, even though I already told her I was coming), went unloading the stuff from my luggage into my new room, went back to KL Sentral and on the KL Transit on 11pm, got to Putrajaya Sentral at 11.30...waited for a bus to get back to my flat, got on that on 12am...PHEW. I can't even say anything.

Khamis 17 Sept, more damn briefing. Luckily there's a session that was more hands on, and that got me a bit excited. Went lunch at an Indian veggie restaurant...hmmm new experience. I don't really eat Indian food, I like Chinese ones more. Got back at 8pm, but went lepaking with UM girl at Secret Recipe. Chatted with her, window shopping some more, and got back to Putrajaya Sentral at 10 something. Walked from Sentral to my flat, took around 10 minutes. Mind you, it was night time and I was walking alone.

Jumaat 18 Sept. I decided to sleep in my new room in KL tonight. So I brought along my luggage and walked from my flat to Putrajaya Sentral. That was a torture. Got on KL Transit to KL Sentral, put my stuff inside a locker there, then I went to work. More briefings...CAN YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING?! Ugh. What the hell. Are you expecting us to remember everything and absorb them like a sponge? We're human being, goddammit! We're tired, we're bored, our brains are already full! Ugh. Haha. But we were already warned before we apply the job before, that the learning curve would be very steep. Which mean...it'll be hell for the first few weeks on the job.

After that, got back from work at 7 something, bumped into kak Qay, brought my luggage to Bangsar by LRT, luckily the new place I'm staying got an elevator. Cause I ain't shoving my stuff up the stairs, no sir! After sending my luggage up, went out to Nu Sentral again and bought a table fan. That salesman guy's being nice. Brought that large box, home back to LRT Universiti, cleaned up the room (so full of dust! Acchoo!) took a shower, went to sleep at almost 11.30pm. I hadn't finish arranging my stuff in the wardrobe yet. Malam tu nak tido, dok terngiang-ngiang suara orang putih dari Amsterdam yang dok bagi briefingkat workplace aku tu. Banyak sangat dengar diorang membebel sampai nak tido pun ada lagi. Bengong.

Sabtu 19 Sept. Woke up at 7.34am. SH*T. You know what, I have a bus to catch at 8.30 in Pekeliling station, and it would take 25mins by monorail. My God...can I make it? Without taking a shower or even wash my face, I emptied my luggage back, reloaded it again with stuff I need, put on something appropriate (wihtout even ironing them!), and went out, rushing to find a taxi. Got on one, arrived at Pekeliling at 8.15am, and guess what? My bus at 8.30 was on fire on its way to KL. I mean, it broke down in the middle of the road and caught on fire. Orang kat kaunter tu tak bagitau pape pun! Mangkok betol. Naseb baik aku dengar ada orang tanya, bas 8.30 dah sampai belum? Lepas tu dapat refund duit, beli tiket Bulan Restu pukul 11. Damn. Kau tau tak aku ni dengan tak mandinya, tak gosok gigi nya, rushing datang sini nak kejar bas...tengok-tengok dapat tiket pukul 11. Kepala hotak kau.

Ada bas ke Kuantan pukul 9.30, tapi tiket dah habis. So aku tunggu depan bas tu, jumpa drebar die kata kalau ada kosong aku nak naik. Naseb baik pakcik tu supportive. Aku pun baca doa, selawat Ar-Razzaq banyak-banyak, tengok-tengok ada seat kosong aku boleh masuk. Seat single pulak tu. Alhamdulillah.

Ni dah sampai rumah, kena tolong sebab ada kenduri pulak. Ahad petang dah kena balik KL semula. Pekejadah balik sekejap je ni. Lepas tu next week tiga hari bekerja aku kena angkut barang selebihnya dari Putrajaya lagi. Pastu balik raya haji lagi.

Ugh. Kau tau tak. Tak, takde orang tau, sebab aku tak bagitau sape-sape pun. Aku buat sorang tau tak. Aku buat sorang, mangkok. Aku stress tau. Tak, kau tak tau. Aku stress. Tapi kau tak tau. Kau tak tau. Kau tak tau. Kau tak tau. Sebab aku tak bagitau. Buat apa aku nak bagitau? Kau boleh datang tolong ke?

...

Haaa...okay, sorry. I was stressed. I need to let this out.