Them

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Hmmm.
Sejak kebelakangan ni, hidup aku dikelilingi oleh mereka.

Hmmm. Sejak dr CFS IIUM lagi sbnarnya.
Aku tak tau la. Nak kata tak selesa, tak jugak.
Mula2 tu takut la jugak, rasa macam kena kejar.
Rasa macam ade orang yg sentiasa mengekori kita.
Membuatkan kita rasa mcm nak lari mnyembunyikan diri je.
Tapi lama2 dah reda sikit.
Lega la sikit, walaupun aku mnyedari hakikat yg mereka masih ada disekellilingku.
Sekurang-kurangnya kejar mngejar dah takde.

But then, I had come to a situation where I had to attend one of their programmes.
Not really that way, but sort of.
I knew that I was gonna freak out.
Nothing did happen, but I was afraid of them.
Basically afraid that they will find my weaknesses, attack me
tell me why I'm not good enough
and use my weaknesses to show why I should join
I don't wanna feel betrayed
And I don't wanna blame them

And after I attended the programme, that someone did contacted me.
But I was not quite serious about it
because again, I feel like I was being chased.
So I tend to run away by giving excuses.

I don't know.
They are not bad people, they are good, quite good actually.
But I don't know why I don't feel like joining them.
Yes, I know why.
Because I'm afraid.
Afraid of what? you might ask.
I know. But I won't tell you.

And now, my life at home
As I'm taking classes for my driving license
My teacher is them
In fact, most of his family members do. He tells me about it.
But I'm fine with it.
Because they are good people.
They go to the mosque often.
They are good people.

Starting from my life in CFS until now,
I was introduced to meet them
My life is amongst them
Well, I know my father too, but he's not too active
Yes I know they're good
And that's good for me
For I'm befriended with good people

I guess it was destined for me.
And it is not impossible that I might actually join them one day.
Besides, it's a good thing, remember? ;)