The Pain of Being Sad

In the name of Allah, The Most Merciful and The Most Graceful.
May peace be upon you, with Allah's love and blessings.

It is sad isn't it, to see someone you know is in sadness. Well, me too.

I am sad to know that me myself is sad. Who isn't sad?
And even sadder, if you yourself, don't know what made you become sad.

Well, basically, I know women have their own time of the month where they'll get very emotional. That's what people call the PMS. And from what I know, every women has it, but they'll have different types of PMS, for different people. Some may have pains, some may even caused nausea and some will have depression.

And I know, I guess, my type is the third one. But then, I still want to find another reason of why I'm feeling sad. I know I'm sad, I can feel it. But it's disturbing for not to know the reason why.

Yes, depression or sadness maybe look like some small matter that doesn't involve anything important. But haven't you feel the pain in your heart, the pain of being sad?

Now this is the topic I would like to stress on.

You can feel it, in your heart. I bet EVERYONE can feel it. Or else you're not human.

Now tell me about it. How do you feel when you're sad? What does your heart feels?

It hurts, isn't it? You feel like your heart is being torn to pieces, like it is being stabbed and slashed and ripped open. You can feel your heart is bleeding excessively, and it wont stop.

Now imagine that happens in reality. You put your heart in front of you and do like what I've just said. Scary. isn't it?

Now it would be even more freaky when you keep replaying the scene, again and again.

And that is what happen to me.

Yes you feel sad, but what happen when you feel sad like that for, let says, everyday?

At first you'll feel hurt, next it'll turn to pain, and eventually it'll become worse. You'll feel tired. Really, really tired. Then you give up. And the worst part is, your heart dies.

And that means that you're not a human anymore.

Just imagine, your heart is being stabbed to death, it almost died, but then your heart continue living while suffering severe wounds, scars and damages.

You know, our hearts are ,really, very strong because it can survive and be still alive although it is being stabbed quite deep. Be proud to have a heart, humans. Thank God, Alhamdulillah.

 But a heart can also die. You know how that happens.

Tell me about it. Everyone feel sad, and I've repeated this phrase quite a few times now.

But please, find someone to talk to, if ever you feel sad. Tell them about your sadness, don't let it overshadow you.

Please, don't be like me. I really don't want you to feel sad.
Please, please, please. Don't kill yourself with sadness.
And please, you're very, very lucky to have people to talk to about your sadness.
Please appreciate them, and please, appreciate yourself as well.

I love you people. You are too kind for me. I haven't the right to disturb you.

I just don't trust people deep enough. Because I know, people aren't perfect. And people have their own family, their own life, their ownselves to take care of.

So I have to take care of myself. I won't disturb other people's lives. I respect their privacy.
 Don't worry, I have myself, me myself can listen to all the sadness that I feel. 

I just need that one person, who can be with me all the time, who can calm me down whenever I'm feeling blue, who can be there for me whenever I need love. I need someone who would know exactly what I want what I'll do in various situations. I need someone that can read my mind, because I hate talking. I need a perfect human being.

Now, what's with that damnhigh demands?

Yes, that's impossible. Because humans are imperfect. And remember, YOU are imperfect, too.

Damn stupid. Yes, I know, I know. I understand. Sorry.

Don't worry, I understand. And I don't mind.
Please, be happy with yourself, and don't worry about me.

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But I do enjoy sadness. As it really allows me to feel that He's there, He's always there for me. I feel that He loves me. And He's the Most Perfect of all. He is God, Allah.