Phone call

Bismillah.

Oops, I did it again.

So I went, so I passed good, they said.

They called me this afternoon. 'Michael' called me. I was...unprepared.

What the hell. It felt like everything was sudden. I couldn't really understand what he was saying on the phone. Then he asked me questions.

"What interests you to work in Seabury?"

"I...uhh...I...because of the job description...uhh...wait a second...(moves to somewhere quiet) uhh...sorry, I'm nervous."

"Okay. So, why do you think you're fit for the job?"

Sh*t. This is the question that will trap me.

"Uhh...because I can work with a lot of data, and um...the job description...fits my qualification and uhh...I'm an analytical person...uhh...um."

What.

Sh*t.

How can I explain my capabilities? Kalau aku cakap gebang-gebang pun, how would you know that I'm not just all talk and no proof? How do you even measure your capabilites when you have no work experiences?

Ugh. I believe in just showing it, demonstrating it to you rather than talking about it. I fail at talking charmingly.

After believing that I was making myself to sound stupid through the phone, Michael said something about interview on next Monday. Heck, where? Am I invited or not? I don't think I got an email for that. Then he said thank you, and I thanked him back, so much, and he said "No, thank you for your time for this phone call. Okay. All the best, and have a good day."

All I can say was..."Thank you." Come on, at least say "Good day to you too."!

Argh. Sometimes I dread the fact that I can't talk like some people who can talk other's pants off. But I am what I am. My mind works brilliantly, words searched and organized into sentences...but they fail to be hatched. An analogy is like when you work hard to produce something to sell, but you couldn't market it. 

Argh. God. Then I went into the toilet and cried. God, please. I feel like I'm cursed with interviews like this. Huh. I know, I'm not well exposed with the ways of talking. If prepared, hell, so confident I seem in front. But once you ask a question that I don't expect, there, you caught me. My words would stumble right away.

And this was just the phone call, not yet the interview.

God.

Of course, all I can do is leave whatever happens to Allah. Accept whatever he gives me. And try to forget that blunder I made, and stop thinking about the interview. Just...go crash it.